The Avengers go to Disneyworld
by DaftFics
Summary: This is 100% not serious. It's just a silly humour fic about (what else) the Avengers going to Disneyworld. Enjoy (Contains swearing and mild sexual innuendos)
1. Chapter 1

Fury wiped the sweat from his brow as the sun beat down on him. It was a hot, hot, HOT day, and the tiny breezes that occasionally blew his coat back did nothing to ease that heat. He paused before the large gates and turned to look over his team. They all had a look of sheer determination on their faces, and were ready to go.  
"Alright, listen up." He said, "Our goal is to get in there, avoid harming any civilians and-"  
"Yeah, can we have the passes now?" Stark asked, folding his arms. Fury glared at him and frowned.  
"Fine." In one swift motion, he unzipped his black fanny pack and whipped out the multicoloured park passes, "Okay, one at a time. I do not want any of these getting lost. So no leaving them on the bus, dropping them on a ride, trading them for pictures of the secret underground tunnels," He pointed at Stark, "Or throwing them out. Got it?" They all nodded, "Now who wants what pass?"  
"Do you have Scrooge McDuck?" Stark asked, "I find him relatable." Fury thrust one into his hands.  
"You can have Pluto."  
"But-" Fury glared again, "Okay, okay..."  
"Oh, can I have the Mickey Mouse one?" Steve stepped forwards, grinning like a little kid. Fury rolled his eye.  
"Sure. Go ahead." Steve took the pass and held it in front of him, beaming.  
"Hurry up!" Natasha suddenly snapped. They all turned to stare at her, "What? I want to beat my record."  
"Record?" Clint raised an eyebrow.  
"I happen to hold a record here." She said, "I'd like to keep it that way."  
"Alright, fine." Fury handed the rest of the passes out, "Now come on. I ain't standing here all day." The mighty Avengers, in their cargo shorts, baseball caps and comfortable shoes, quickly shuffled through the Disneyland gates and joined the large queue to enter the park.  
"I'm still confused..." Thor muttered, "Why is there a land...made for a mouse...?"  
"It's gonna be a long fucking day." Fury sighed.


	2. Chapter 2

After much queueing and five bag checks, the Avengers were finally in the park. Almost immediately, Natasha grabbed Clint's arm and began walking away.  
"Hey!" Fury shouted, "Lunch is at half twelve! You better be there!" She threw a quick thumbs up before disappearing into the crowds.  
"I think I'll just go take a look at the...nice... rides." Bruce mumbled, looking at the map and pointing, "This one sounds nice... Little Mermaid ride..."  
"You're coming with me." Stark grinned, putting his arm around Bruce's shoulders.  
"What? Where?"  
"To Tomorrowland..." Bruce frowned, looking at the map.  
"Oh God..." He muttered as Stark dragged him towards the castle.  
"That leaves you two." Fury frowned. Steve was standing, open mouthed, staring at the buildings around him.  
"It's just like home..." He whispered, "Hey, Thor, you wanna get a hotdog?" Thor opened his mouth to speak.  
"Oh HELL no." Fury said, "Lunch is at twelve thirty. You ALL eat then."  
"Ah, c'mon... He can handle it!" Fury just frowned.  
"Fine. But I ain't paying for something nobody eats." He turned away, "I'm gonna find a nice bench...sit down for a while..."


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey, isn't that..."  
"Oh my God, is that who I think it is?"  
"Oh! That's really her, isn't it!" People whispered and muttered as Natasha and Clint walked through the park. Clint sighed deeply.  
"We can't even get one day..." Natasha just smiled.  
"They aren't talking about you. Just me." She took her sunglasses off and grinned, "We're here."  
"The teacups?" He snorted, "Didn't think you were into that sort of thing." She smiled again and shrugged, joining the queue.  
"Oh God it's her." Someone gasped, "It's really her." As the queue began to move, guests and cast members alike began gasping and muttering even more.  
"So, when we're done with this, what do you want to go on?" Natasha asked calmly as Clint glanced around at the staring people.  
"Uh...anything..." As they neared the front of the queue, everyone was buzzing. Natasha smiled at the cast member allowing guests on the ride.  
"Oh my God..." He froze, "It's you...it's really you... I thought you were just an urban legend...I..." An older cast member stepped out from the control box.  
"Teacup girl!" He gasped.  
"Okay, what is going on?" Clint asked.  
"He doesn't know?" The older cast member shook his head and stepped back into the control box.  
"She's famous here." The younger one said, She broke the record for fastest teacup spinning AND most times riding in a single day without throwing up." Natasha beamed proudly.  
"And I'm about to break it again." She said. The cast members gasped in unison as she entered the ride and stood by a pastel pink teacup, "Here we go." She stroked the edge, smiling softly, "My favourite..."  
"Oh my God." Clint sighed, swinging himself into it. Natasha took her seat and placed her hands on the handle.  
"You might want to hold on." She said as the ride started.


	4. Chapter 4

"You know, I almost bought this place." Stark laughed to himself. Bruce nodded, grinning weakly, "I was gonna turn Space Mountain into my office."  
"The rollercoaster?"  
"Admittedly, it would've made paperwork hard." Stark nudged Bruce's shoulder, "Have you been on before?"  
"Uh, no." He looked up at the giant structure, "Not my kind of thing..." Stark glanced around and grinned.  
"How about that?" He pointed to a strange building.  
"Innoventions?"  
"I hear it's pretty good." Stark grinned. Bruce raised an eyebrow, looking at his iPhone.  
"Innoventions: Featuring Iron Man Tech presented by Stark Industries." He read, "Yeah, no."  
"Then come on Space Mountain with me!" Stark whinged.  
"Can't you go on by yourself?" Bruce pocketed his phone.  
"I don't want to. It's boring like that!" Stark grabbed his arm, "Look, come on it with me and then we can go on something you want to. Everything you want to." Bruce sighed deeply.  
"Can we at least get pizza afterwards?"  
"Sure!" Stark beamed, "We can go on your princess rides, too." They joined the queue for the ride and Bruce brought his map out again.  
"I like this one," He pointed, "Pirates of the Caribbean. I remember going on it when I was a kid."  
"You were a kid?" Stark raised an eyebrow, "I don't believe it."  
"Not all of us refuse to grow up." The queue moved and Bruce nervously grabbed Stark's arm.  
"Calm down. It's just a theme park ride, it's supposed to be fun." Bruce wrinkled his nose.  
"Easy for you to say." The queue moved again and he took a deep breath in, clutching Stark's arm tighter.


	5. Chapter 5

"You aren't going to vomit again, are you?" Natasha asked, adjusting her sunglasses. Clint had not had fun on the teacups. While Natasha had beaten her record and been congratulated by every cast member who saw, he had stumbled to the nearest restroom and promptly emptied his stomach. He vowed never to go near them again...at least, not with her.  
"I'm fine." He mumbled, taking another long swig of water.  
"Hold on." She veered away from him and disappeared into the crowd.  
"Nat?" He glanced around for a minute, wondering where the hell she had gone. As quickly as she had vanished, she returned... with a pair of sequined mouse ears on her head, "Uh..."  
"What?" She asked, completely unfazed, "I'm in Disneyworld. I am allowed to have fun." She held up a small bag, "Bought you a pair too."  
"I am not putting those on." He laughed. She just looked at him, "Okay...okay..." He took the small Mouse ear cap out of the bag and secured them onto his head. Natasha strutted ahead, somehow looking just as beautiful and deadly with the ears atop her copper hair.  
"Come on," She turned and faced him, "We're going on Haunted Mansion."  
"We are?" Clint asked as they joined the queue.  
"Of course." She suddenly grinned, "They have a hearse. That's brilliant." He smiled slightly, watching her excitedly go through the queue area, admiring the atmospheric props, and glanced at his watch.  
"Oh! We better go on this and then head back." He looked back up, "It's quarter past twelve." She rolled her eyes.  
"Fury won't mind if we don't show." She took his hand, "C'mon, after this we can go on one of your rides."  
"Splash Mountain?" He grinned, "Alright, c'mon, let's go!"


	6. Chapter 6 (AKA The Laziest Chapter Ever)

**Super short chapter time!**

"How did we end up here?" Steve asked, glancing down at his map, "We're going on... It's A Small World?" He looked around, "Is this a rollercoaster or what?" Thor took the map from him.  
"Musical indoor voyage?" He read out, "I don't understand..."  
"Neither do I..." They glanced around at the ride queue, "It...it can't be that bad..." They shuffled through the queue, looking around like very confused meerkats. They sat down in the candy pink boat, clutching the map between them as the ride started.  
"Are we going to die?" Thor whispered.  
"I don't know." Steve whispered back.


	7. Chapter 7

"You okay?" Evidently, Clint wasn't the only Avenger throwing up. Stark leaned against the stall door as Bruce retched loudly and coughed.  
"Just peachy." He croaked.  
"Hurry up." Stark rolled his eyes, "We didn't come here to see how the bathrooms look."  
"Oh, I'm so sorry," Bruce spat, "Am I ruining your day?" He sighed deeply and flushed.  
"Are you done?" Stark asked as Bruce stormed out of the stall, "You need water?"  
"Yes." Bruce adjusted his glasses, "Yes I do."  
"And popcorn?" Bruce shot him a glare, "I'm serious. Popcorn works." He paused for a moment, "Okay, so I want popcorn."  
"Fine. Come on." They exited the bathrooms and wandered back out into the titanium wonderland that was Tomorrowland.  
"I'm bored of this one." Stark gestured, taking his map out, "Let's go...to Frontierland."  
"Am I going to regret this?" Stark laughed, putting an arm around his friend and shaking his head.  
"Probably." He said. They began walking, and Bruce almost forgot he was supposed to be peeved. Everywhere he looked, something magical greeted him. He was never one for fantasy and whimsy, but this place was winning him over. The hot Orlando sun might have just been making Stark delusional, but when he looked over at his sciencey little friend, he swore he could see childlike wonder in his eyes.  
"Can we go on that?" The voice that came out of Bruce's mouth sounded like his own, but he was certain he never spoke in such an awed tone.  
"On what?" Stark followed his gaze, "Oh...The Little Mermaid thing. Sure. Why not?" They joined the queue.  
"I'm...excited." Bruce said. He sounded confuseed, but Stark ignored that. In fact, Stark just wandered off, leaving Bruce by himself. In that moment, Bruce remembered why he had been peeved. He folded his arms and prepared to hate everything again, when he suddenly felt something cold against the back of his neck. He jumped slightly and whipped around.  
"Water." Stark grinned, and Bruce decided he wasn't quite ready to be annoyed again as he took the bottle from his friend.


	8. Chapter 8

The sun beat down on Fury's face as he snored loudly on a nondescript bench. His watch beeped even louder, and he woke up with a start. It was twelve thirty.  
"Shit." He muttered, getting up and sprinting to the meeting place they agreed with during the ride to the park. Panting, he sat down on yet another bench where he could see them coming. So he sat. And waited.  
And waited.  
And waited.  
And waited.  
And waited.  
"Fuck all of them."


	9. Chapter 9

Fury furiously (how apt) entered the restaurant, sans Avengers. He was mumbling under his breath, but a few phrases could were audible. 'Fucking mouse' and 'I wanted to go to Universal' especially. He ordered the most angry-sounding thing on the menu and took a seat, glaring out at the crowds of people. He secretly hoped the Avengers were having a shitty time. He tore his sandwich apart like a slightly rabid dog and sat back in his chair, still glowering at the crowds.  
"Fuckin' Avengers." He mumbled through a mouthful of food, "Fuckin' Disney." He swallowed, "...Fuckin' good food." As he muttered, a nearby table turned to glare at him.  
"Do you mind?" A sleek blond man hissed, "There are children here!"  
"I appreciate the concern for your children but I do not give a solitary fuck." Fury smiled quickly and went back to eating. As he shoved the last few bites down, he saw two familar figures heading towards him. "About fucking time." He sighed as Stark and Bruce walked briskly towards him. He folded his arms and waited for an explanation. He did not get one. He simply got two shit-eating grins as they both passed by.  
"Fuckin..." He muttered.


	10. Chapter 10

Natasha squelched along the pathway, ears and hair dripping. "I'm sorry, I didn't know it would be so...wet." Clint apologised for the seventh time. She just rolled her eyes. "There's a store over there." She said, unzipping her bag, "How wet are you?" Clint looked down at his feet and shrugged. "Not very." He smirked slightly. Natasha had told him to wear socks and sneakers, but he had insisted on wearing them without. Clint 1, Natasha 0. "I'll be right back." She sighed. Inside the shop, she was faced with walls of plush toys, dolls, pens, sweets and other little souvenirs. She searched the shelves with her eyes, until she located clothing. Ten minutes and forty dollars later, Natasha felt positively Disneyfied. Her t-shirt bore Minnie Mouse's bow, and her socks proclaimed her love for Mickey Mouse in bold letters. She wasn't thrilled, but at least she wasn't soaking any more. Her hair was still damp, but the sun would no doubt fix that. "What now?" She asked, rejoining Clint. He glanced around, scoping out the area. "We could go on that." He pointed to a rollercoaster in the (not very) distance. Natasha raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure?" She folded her arms, "We could get a snack instead..." As she spoke, a gaggle of children thundered past like excited buffalo, nearly knocking her over. Clint took ahold of her arms, pulling her back and keeping her steady. "What the..." He muttered. "We should follow them." She said, brushing herself off, "See what they're so crazy about." "Uh...okay?" He didn't really have a choice, as she grabbed his arm and began to sprint after the herd. 


	11. Chapter 11

**So before I post this (very short) installment, I have question for all of you- **

**Who would you like the next chapter to be about? **

**And what ride/attraction would you like to see them on? **

**The next three chapters will, in fact, be the end of the first part (or park, if you will). **

**So additionally, which park in Disneyworld (Florida) would you like to see them visit next?**

** It's all up to you! **

**- And back to the story -**

"Sir, I think you've had enough..." A petite cast member shrank away from her station as Fury glared at her.

"I'll tell you when I've had enough." He snapped, thrusting his money forwards, "Now give me another goddamn ice cream bar." She nervously took his bill and reached into the freezer, producing his fifth frozen treat in the space of an hour. He took it and faked a smile, "Thank you." He said sarcastically, unwrapping the ice cream and storming away. As he took a bite, a wasp flew beside him. "Don't. Even. Think. About. It." The wasp actually seemed intimidated, as it flew away almost immediately. "Good." He muttered. He stood against a wooden railing and stared out at the water. Maybe if the Avengers hadn't stood him up, he'd be enjoying himself. A duck waddled past him as he grumpily devoured the ice cream. It glanced up at him, probably hoping for some of his food. "You better get your feathery ass away from me, I ain't no old lady in a park." The duck quacked, waiting. "You probably can't even eat chocolate!" A couple of guests stared at the strange man arguing with a duck.

"QUACK." The duck said.

"Go on. Beat it." He waved his arm. The duck just quacked.

"Mommy! Look! Duckie!" A little boy exclaimed, dropping cracker crumbs on the ground. The duck waddled towards him and Fury grunted.

"That's what I thought." He finished the ice cream, "Stupid-ass ducks."


End file.
